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Delphi High Contest - Cody

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     I know that there is something strange about me. No matter where I go or what I do, this fact is always with me. The sympathetic looks of the adults, the wary glances of my peers, and the innocent yet painful curiosity of the children all serve to remind me of my condition. No, that's what the doctors call it. In reality it's a curse.
     I was diagnosed with Tourette syndrome – or as I simply call it, TS – around the time I turned seven. Before that I remember the constant trips to the principal's office from my kindergarten class and the phone calls home. The teachers couldn't control me, neither with kindness nor punishment, but to be honest how could they? I couldn't even control myself. I remember screaming at the top of my lungs in the middle of class and scaring half of the kids in that room. And that wasn't the only time either. Occasionally I would throw a crayon across the room or pull a girl's hair. From all the scoldings I got I figured out quickly that these acts were wrong, but there was nothing I or anyone else could do about them.
     Eventually my mother began to suspect that there might be something much more serious about my behavior and took me to a doctor. They ran some tests, we waited a few weeks, got sent to another doctor who ran more tests, waited even longer, until finally they gave my mother an answer. Even though it was nearly ten years ago, I can still remember the look on her face. It was like her world had just been shattered into a million pieces. I remember her hugging me when we got home, holding me tightly as the sobs shook her entire body. At the time I couldn't quite grasp the gravity of that diagnosis. Now I understand completely.
     Being seventeen is tough. Being seventeen with TS is impossible. I still have random outbursts and can even become violent sometimes. I hate it. The people at my special school treat me like an animal that you have to be careful with or it might bite. I'm not some stupid little kid. I know what's going on around me, and I can understand perfectly well what the teachers say. There's just a part of me – a stronger part of me – that has a stronger hold on my body. I feel like I'm standing on the sidelines watching this…this monster drive my body. The monster is the one making me act strange. Not me.
     A few months ago, however, that monster crossed a line. I was at home after school, sitting in the kitchen with my mom. She was trying to help me with an assignment that my teachers had sent home. It was a tough one, and I could feel the frustration building inside me. Before I knew what was happening, I heard my mom scream in agony. I had flung my arm out at her and it had collided with her arm with enough force to break it. She was clutching it to her chest, and I could see she was trying to hold back tears. I wanted to go to her, say I was sorry, beg her for forgiveness. But the monster just sat there. After a few minutes I stood up and walked out of the room, not even looking back to see if she was alright. I went into the living room and sat down on the couch calmly before clutching my head in my hands. I wanted to rip out my brain and kill this monster inside me. I wanted the suffering to end. Not just for me, for my mom. After that all I can remember is seeing my mom crouching in front of me, and that I whispered two words to her.
     "Help me."
     A week after she went and got a cast on her arm, my mom took me to a therapist that a friend had recommended to her. She seemed nice, a short woman with shoulder length red hair and a charming smile. Figures that the monster would stick my tongue out at her the first time we met. My mom and I learned that her name was Dr. Grove, or just Patty to me, and that she was a psychotherapist. What she does is take people through relaxation type sessions – and other stuff, can't remember exactly what – to help them calm themselves. Basically, a shrink.
     That first session with her is one I will never forget. After some prompting I was made to lie down on a couch and relax as best I could. I could feel the monster stirring inside, wanting to make some sort of trouble. But as the sessions began, the monster started to shrink. I could feel it fighting, struggling to keep its hold on my mind and body. In the end, it disappeared. For the first time I felt what it was like to be normal…at least, until the pain came. It started in my legs, like my bones were growing longer and skinnier, and then it moved to my back. I fell onto the floor as my spine bent every which way, arranging itself into a different shape. My arms were next, feeling exactly the same as my legs did, and then my hands and feet began to change. The fingers were lost, and what was left of my hands became small and hard, like hooves. My neck cracked and stretched, and my jaw jutted out painfully. My skull morphed, and as I yelled out in agony I was shocked to hear not a yell, but a completely different sound, like a bleat. Finally I felt my ears grow longer, and then the pain ceased.
     As I slowly opened my eyes I found myself staring at the ground. I tried to bring my hand up to my head, but it wouldn't bend right. My sight finally adjusted, I looked over myself. Words cannot describe the shock of what I found. I had become a stag. My arms and legs were now long, skinny, brown sticks with hooves at the ends. My clothes were shredded on the ground. I stood up cautiously, wobbling on my new legs unsteadily. Being on four legs instead of two was strange, but I managed to get myself steady before I spotted Patty. She looked surprised, but not totally freaked out like I was. She acted like she had seen this before.
     "Oh wow," she said quietly, looking me over. "Normally that only happens when they're angry. I never expected it to be the other way around." What the hell? Why wasn't she going completely insane like I was about to right now?
     "Cody," she said gently, "it's alright. Just stay calm." I just stared at her, wondering what was wrong with her, when I realized it. The monster was still gone. I tried to move my front leg carefully, and it responded just how I wanted it to. I tried the other one, same result. A smile spread across my now elongated face.
     "I'm calm," I murmured in awe. I saw Patty give me a weird look.
     "I'm calm," I repeated, a little more enthusiastically. "Patty, I can control myself. The monster isn't in control anymore…I am."
     After that Patty had my mom come into the room, and after some initial hysterics, she explained to us what had happened. She told us how there were some people in the world who had the ability to change their form, and that she had dealt with them before. That explained why she hadn't freaked out when I had changed. I noticed my mom peeking over at me from the corner of her eye every now and then. Having her son become a stag must have been pretty hard to handle, but she kept her emotions hidden well enough.
     The talk over, Patty told my mom that there was a special school for people like me, a place called Delphi High. All the students there are like me, she said, and the staff can handle me both in my human and animal form. My mom was a bit unsure at first, but eventually Patty persuaded her to look into it.
     Before we left to go home, Patty helped me figure out how to change back into my normal human form. It wasn't as painful physically like before, but mentally it was the worst experience of my life. The minute I changed back, the monster was waiting there for me. I lost control of my body again, and resumed my TS state.
     There's an irony in my animal form, the stag. It's a majestic creature, graceful and clam in the wild. And the fact that I, a Tourette syndrome challenged teenager, turn into that creature makes it even more rich. Still, I can't complain.
     I understand now that the only way for me to feel normal is to in fact not be normal. From what Patty told me most people with my condition initially hate becoming their creature. To me, it was a godsend.
this is part of my entry into :iconichiko-wind-griffin:'s contest

so my guy that i'm entering is named Cody Baker, a seventeen year old that has Tourette syndrome. his animal that he turns into is a stag (a picture of both his human and animal forms will be provided later). with Cody, he is under the control of his condition while in his human form, but when he becomes his animal the condition no longer affects him. he can function like any normal person while he is a stag, but once he becomes human again his condition comes back. because of this Cody likes to be in his animal form whenever he gets the chance.

in order to become his animal, Cody must become completely calm. his psychotherapist and now close friend Dr. Grove (or just Patty as Cody calls her) is helping him learn how to calm himself on his own, but at the moment he still needs her help in order to become his animal

for Cody, i based him on a guy i know who has a condition that is not TS, but still causes him to be a bit more extreme than normal and requires medication and doctor visits. i love this guy to death, and i've known his family for years. they've had to go through a lot, so this is my own subtle way of sharing what they go through
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squibble9's avatar
I will never complain about my mild Tourette again.